To liberate the dignity of our masculinity. To open our hearts to love. To face and own our shame. To heal our relationships with women and with ourselves. And, to celebrate our true masculinity—a masculinity that loves, protects, and honors all genders.
trueMASCULINITY envisions a world of liberated men who have successfully undone their cultural conditioning and reconnected with their hearts and their souls. We, as a species, are no longer in need of trying to live up to some misled, aggressive ideal of manhood, no longer at a point in time where we must compete, hunt, and kill our brothers in warring nation-tribes just to survive. Such conditioning has corrupted our authentic masculinity, resulting in deep, painful shame—shame that undermines our dignity and our power. To compensate for these feelings of emptiness and inadequacy, we strive to amass wealth, sexual partners, and many more forms of power over others. Unfortunately, those coping strategies leave us stuck in the same loop, receiving momentary relief only to return to that excruciating disconnection and loneliness we are trying to avoid.
trueMASCULINITY aims to help men break free of this cycle. It is a platform for men to share, learn, and celebrate newfound growth on this hero’s journey. It is here to support as we face our pain, to guide us in filling our wounds with love and compassion. We must recognize and own our transgressions. We must dive headfirst into the darkened, shadowed, and shamed places of our manhood, whereby we will discover the glory of our authentic masculinity. trueMASCULINITY is here to help us venture into the dark, whereby we will rediscover our spark.
HARMONIZING YIN & YANG
To clarify what this site means when it references “masculinity,” we are referring to an energetic quality, called “yang” in some traditions, which assertively initiates, sows seeds, and forges ahead. Yang exists in all of us, whether we identify as men, women, gender-fluid, or otherwise. Complementing masculine, the feminine “yin” is open, receptive, inclusive, and nurturing. Similarly, yin exists in people of all genders. Both yin and yang, masculine and feminine, are necessary for life, health, and wholeness. And both can have their distorted, shadowed side. The shadowed expression of the masculine is when the assertive turns violent or aggressive. Similarly, the shadowed side of yin is when, instead of being receptive, we become passive.
And though yin and yang energies are present in all of us, most men tend to have a more naturally developed yang. We men must learn to harness this healthy, confident masculinity while ridding ourselves of its distorted traits, which can lead to aggression. But in support of the cultivation of healthy manhood—and humanhood—many of us could also benefit from the development of our yin, so we can also open our minds and our hearts with empathy and compassion, without which no mutually satisfying human connections can exist. When yin and yang are harmoniously integrated in this way we become assertive yet receptive, bold yet nurturing, and autonomous yet inextricably united with others.
No matter your gender, the way you express and combine your yin and yang is unique to who you are. We all conduct our own symphony.
This movement is inspired by men of vision, role models who reflected upon themselves and were courageous champions for change. We look to the likes of Abraham Lincoln, Martin Luther King Jr., Mahatma Gandhi, and Nelson Mandela, men who dreamed of a better future for all and then devoted their lives in service of that future. Still, they each had their fair share of darkness.
Lincoln had to deal with depression for much of his life. Gandhi grew up feeling small, shy, and confused, sometimes even resorting to stealing cigarettes. Martin Luther King Jr. attempted suicide. And Mandela, reeling at young age from the death of his father, grew up with much anger. Somehow, these exemplary men transformed themselves and inspired others to do so as well, becoming beacons of light for millions of us to follow. And still, despite their esteem, these men always struggled with doing the right thing—both Martin Luther King Jr. and Gandhi, despite being great advocates for non-violence, are known to have mistreated women at different times. This isn't to excuse our own—or anyone’s—behavior, only to appreciate the challenge of uprooting our sexist conditioning. Such a transformation requires steadfast commitment and compassion for ourselves, as well as anyone else embarking on the journey. It is a long but exciting road to greater wholeness and freedom. And the payoff is not only the elimination of violence, but the recovery of our potential for connection, love, and joy. Though we may never fully complete this journey—our heart’s potential for love is virtually limitless—let us begin it now.
ABOUT THE FOUNDER:
Yosi Amram is a licensed clinical psychologist, a CEO leadership coach, and a pioneering researcher in the field of Spiritual Intelligence.
Growing up in war-stricken Israel, Yosi had his first taste of tribal conflicts and violence, as well as leadership in the military, where he held the fastest promotion record in the history of his regiment and received numerous leadership awards. While receiving recognition for excellence, the military chafed at his soul and thus was born his interest in more humane and inspired communities and approaches to leadership. After leaving the military, receiving a BS and MS in Engineering from MIT and an MBA from Harvard, he became the founder and CEO of two technology companies that he led through successful Initial Public Offerings (IPOs).
Then, in 1996, watching his company’s rising stock price and with a net worth of millions, Yosi experienced a dark night of the soul leading to a spiritual emergency. His moods swung from depression to mania and back. He was promptly removed from his position at the company he founded, deemed unfit to lead. At the time he felt nothing but shame, shame from losing his company, much of his net worth, and the ostracism from his community of peers. So much of his self-worth was tied up in the company, it felt like he would never recover.
Yet, it was through this “crisis” that Yosi came to see through the illusion of separateness. He awoke to a new understanding of life’s interconnectedness, which put him and his value system on a fresh trajectory. He earned a PhD in clinical psychology and initiated the academic research into Spiritual Intelligence, developing the first research-grounded theory and academically validated measure of Spiritual Intelligence (SI). Yosi’s academic research on SI has received over eight hundred citations to date.
For over fifteen years, as a therapist and leadership coach, Yosi has witnessed and supported many of his clients (both men and women) as they’ve built companies, leading thousands of employees and reaching annual revenues in the billions. He's worked with over one hundred CEOs in total. And, as with all his clients, Yosi got to see the marked effect that facing shame and pain had on igniting their spark and liberating the power of their life force. He saw them become inspired, powerful, and potent leaders—leaders who improve the quality of their own lives and the lives of those around them, both professionally and personally.
Yosi’s personal mission is to awaken greater Spiritual Intelligence in himself (a lifelong journey) and in the world. His aim, joy, and honor in building this site is to bring the benefits of his learning to many others. His book, Spiritually Intelligent Leadership: How to Inspire by Being Inspired, is now available to order here (along with three bonus gifts) or at your favorite bookseller.
In his personal life, Yosi is blessed with two wonderful grown children who are the bright stars of his life and enjoys nature, hiking, biking, reading, meditating, and dancing.
You can reach Yosi at Yosi [at] TrueMasculinity dot org.
Yosi Amram, P.h.D